I was out with some friends having a drink tonight when the conversation sparked a memory of a big prediction I had a couple years back. Everyone thought it was a bit nuts, but in the interest of making it public record I’m going to share this prediction with you. Why do I need to make it public record? Well, according to my friends one or all of the following thing will happen if I’m right:

• They will immediately pay me $1,000,000
• Pigs will fly out of their asses and do some form of aerial acrobatic show.
• Hell will not only freeze over, but Satan will open some form of ice skating rink that also serves free heart shaped lollipops.es

Now that I’ve got that out of the way I’m going to share one of my most far out predictions for the future. Call me crazy, but I truly believe this will become reality in our lifetime.

Does anyone remember  BattleBots? It was a series of tournaments where remote controlled robots loaded with weapons and a healthy dose of armor kicked the snot out of each other in an arena. It reached it’s cultural peak in 2000 to 2002 when 5 tournaments were aired on Comedy Central.

The advancement of robotics over the coming ten years (and ongoing generations) will allow us to  build some fairly sophisticated robots. They’ll be bigger, faster, be able to handle bigger weapons and sustain more damage.

I predict that in ten years time robotic combat will become a more frequently viewed televised sport and in the coming decades will become a major spectator sport.

The reality is we love violence and competition. It’s evident in the sports we like from American football to Ultimate Fighting Championships. What boy wouldn’t love to watch four eight-foot robots rip each other to shreds with machine guns, flame throwers, and modified chain saws?

Apparently ESPN has just licensed them for another seasons that’s coming out in the spring of 2009. I’m interested to see how an updated version feels after 7 years off the air. Additionally it will be interesting to see how a sports network approaches it as opposed to a comedy channel.

Hopefully, you don’t mind my deviation from trend watching in marketing and simultaneously don’t think I’ve gone mad.

(I’ll have the last laugh though…. Oh you’ll see…. You’ll see…)

Today I was reminded of why I love the internet so much.  Google Street View, arguably one of the most amazing mapping innovations to ever hit my computer (or now my iPhone), has inspired over the last couple years a mildly obsessive compulsive behavior that drives people to look for odd things captures as the Google car drives by with it’s omni-prescent lens.

Recently it caught two live action roll players (LARP’ers) engaged in a harrowing battle for domination of the remote control for that evenings Lord of the Rings marathon.

If you don’t believe this is real then I insist you click the link and check it out for yourself. Make sure to switch on streetview and look around if it doesn’t take you there directly.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

This gut-wrenching PSA used a children’s song to depict the ravages of ALS. [Read more]

This PSA conveyed the experience of an asthma attack on a shockingly visceral level. [Read more]

Another disturbing PSA: this one from Amnesty, depicting the waterboarding torture technique. [Read more]

These anatomically jarring PSAs from Singapore made the case that verbal abuse can be just as horrific as physical abuse. [Read more]

What can you say to your chicken dinner when he asks you to hook him up with a girl just as you’re marinating him? [Read more]

After dreaming of hash browns filled with cheese, the hero of this BK spot woke up with a nasty case of “morning tongue.” [Read more]

This gross print campaign made you wonder if you’re actually feeding your dog—or the worms inside him. [Read more]

The rotting undead, doomed by high cholesterol, livened up this Colombian health campaign. [Read more]

Ross taught many a lonely Web surfer how to kiss, with gusto, on his very own Converse-branded Web site. [Read more]

A trip to the tanning booth did not end well for this young woman. [Read more]

When you die, said this non-profit, donate your organs to your fellow humans, not to insect larvae. [Read more]

A wayward spicy tongue ruined a young couple’s date in this Doritos commercial. [Read more]

This ultra-creepy German ad depicted the lingering trauma of sexual abuse. [Read more]

What’s that? You want to see a nude 86-year-old woman criticizing Holland’s homecare policy? OK, you got it. [Read more]

The troubled singer stripped down for this British magazine’s breast-cancer awareness campaign. [Read more]

This promo encouraged viewers to attend the musical, but maybe not linger beneath the marquee. [Read more]

A woman figured that licking everything in sight was the best way to check a room’s cleanliness in this spot for the motel chain. [Read more]

The very insane Gary Busey offered manic, nonsensical business tips in this collection of 40 spots. [Read more]

This Web site urged you to upload photos of yourself and a special friend, so all three of you could sleaze out in the hot tub. [Read more]

Hunting for berries to make Sweden’s Jokk juices is extremely dangerous, but worth it. [Read more]

The Japanese company turned to a creepy, fake-smiling fembot to promote its sunscreen. [Read more]

New Zealand tackled the issue of drivers falling asleep at the wheel with all the subtlety of a splattered skull. [Read more]

The automaker Lotus decried the loss of individuality with ads (and street marketing) starring faceless people. [Read more]

This nightmarish Swedish commercial for McDonald’s coffee might keep you up at night. [Read more]

Misplaced mouths cried for help in this campaign for a Novartis throat lozenge. [Read more]

The too-often-marginalized man-horse hybrid got a chance to shine in this Old Spice spot. [Read more]

A human piñata recovered from a beating at the hands of a Skittles-seeking colleague in this off-kilter spot. [Read more]

This ad for an Israeli bookstore ridiculed non-readers for their shrunken, intellectually impoverished heads. [Read more]

This spot characterized the employees at rival airlines as two-faced freak-show monsters. [Read more]

The Texas shop’s intra-agency YouTube challenge featured a shocking admission from Masters of the Universe character Jitsu. [Read more]

Women with migraines literally lose their heads in this OTC pharmaceutical spot. [Read more]

This unnerving viral for a Dutch travel agency showed an airplane crash-landing into the Mediterranean. [Read more]

One quick way to do this is impress your co-workers with a skilled series of dares. We have devised the following point system to help you succeed at office dares. Try these out in whatever order you think works best.

One-Point Dares

1. Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”.
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.
6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
7. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy…”
8. Don’t use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

Three-Point Dares

1. Say to your boss, “I like your style”, wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ”email”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, “dagnamit, it’s happened again!”. Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as “the office bicycle”. Then wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. help desk and tell them that you can’t seem to access any pornography web sites.

Five-Point Dares

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Dave”.
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two”.
5. When you’ve picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ‘’she can abort it for all I care”.
6. After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: “The report’s on your desk, Mon.” Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God is my witness,I’ll never go hungry again!”
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14. Sign or p.p. all letters with your initials and a swastika.
15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, “I’ll see you tonight”.

The freestyle championship below is shown in it’s translated form. The original can be found after the jump.

Classic….

The Original:

Beyond the fact that this is damn amusing I actually think it’s pretty great that the prison endorses this unusual method of rehabilitation. The prisoners must know that well over 30 million people have watched their performances and this must give them some sense of pride.

Apparently they’ve been the subject of two documentaries now and they even open the prison on Saturday for two hours to allow guests to come watch their performances.

Enjoy and have a wonderful weekend!

The widespread consensus: Microsoft + Jerry + Bill = FAIL.
The result: Gates + Seinfeld = CANCELLED.
The Microsoft version: it was all part of the plan.

So would you believe that they paid Seinfeld $10MM for two ads? Are they bringing him back later? Is this really going somewhere?

A Microsoft spokesperson said that Microsoft was launching its “largest consumer focused marketing campaign in its history” that it hopes “will engage consumers about the broader value of the Windows brand.”

Microsoft’s new adverts that will feature a brown-suited company engineer who resembles John Hodgman — the comedian who plays the unfashionable PC character in the “PC vs Mac” ads. Other adverts will include cameo appearances from Bill Gates, as well as celebrities like Desperate Housewives actress Eva Longoria, hip-hop star Pharrell Williams, and the author Deepak Chopra.

It won’t be hard to make anything better or more successful than the line they drew with the two Seinfeld ads (Shoe Circus and New Family). Anyone wants to take a wild guess at CPB’s overall strategy?

That explanation is as lame and as boring as the ad itself. I hope CPB has something better than celebrating what Windows can do for consumers at work if the campaign is supposed to be compared to the hilarious Mac vs. PC ads.